Monday, August 18, 2008

say cheese

I have never been afraid for a friends life as much as I am for my friend whom I mentioned in my previous blog. There is a long, long story, but I wish I could just be there to hold him until it all passed. I think that friends' arms make the best escapes. 
Tomorrow, I move into my dorm. I am moving in early to help out with freshman orientation. To be honest, I am feeling like a freshman myself.

The truth is that I'm close to terrified. There are too many new, uncertain things this year. My best college friend is not coming back. Which means that all the adventures we were going to have aren't going to happen. 

The most terrifying part is that I am not the same person I was even in May. I do not know if this new person that is myself will fit in to JBU. I just don't know.

Siloam is a hard place to live in sometimes. I have made a few new friends this summer, and they have made it better, but it is still hard. Maybe I am just determined to be discontent. I was talking to one of my summer friends about how it is either laugh or cry.

I guess I'm just choosing to smile through my tears.


wagner israel cilio iii said...

i didn't know this was you until just yesterday....

just jessica said...

And once again I apologize for disappointing you by being myself.