Friday, December 30, 2011
This is what I got for Christmas from James. And this was one of the most moving presents I've gotten. Why? because it was given to me so that I could keep myself open and creative as an artist. It's so hard when your profession is in the arts to continue in your personal art growth. It's easy to just create what makes your boss or your audience happy from 8-5 and then not create afterward because your just too tired, or too busy, or whatever other excuse you can come up with.
This is also moving because this is the second time in a month that he has more or less unwittingly supported what I have been feeling that I need to do. And here's what I need to do:
This is not the same as being structured, or militant, this is doing what you need to do to better yourself. I have come to the realization that, even though I'm done with school, I'm not done learning. Life in itself is a matter of finding the perfect balance between study and practice, and I have not done either of those lately. I don't regret taking these last few months as a "sabbatical" of sorts...learning to rest, to manage the "grown up" things like finances, work, and living on my own...but now it's time for some forward motion, this time not for a degree or for a grade, or even to land a job, but for my own self, my own soul.
I will be diligent in eating well. I am not going on a "diet"...I am going to eat well. For my body, and for the world I live in.
I am going to be active so that I can be healthy and physically able to do whatever life throws my way. Humans are so strong emotionally, spiritually, and mentally...and it's a shame we don't attempt to be completely holistic and add physical strength to that list.
In my art:
I am going to read a lot of books, look for inspiration...that's the study part.
Then, I'm actually going to do something about it. I'm going to try and fail and try again until I find my strides in my music, and in my visual arts.
In my personal life:
I have yet to be open to invite people into my home and use my house as a place where true community can be found. I want to let my friends in so we can share this story called life together.
Diligent. Intentional. Lord help me.