Today I went for a run by the river. There was an old couple who was just sitting there on a bench...watching the water slowly pass by them. They were still there when I came back that way, still sitting, enjoying their surroundings and each other.

When I am old, I want to have lived a life so full that I have nothing better to do than sit by the river with the man who I have lived that life with, reminiscing about our adventures and looking forward to the next ones.

There's an old man who sits an smokes on the corner outside of my apartment building. Every morning and every afternoon, we great each other in Czech and go about each other's days. I have a neighbor...but I have only caught a glimpse of his back as he walked into his apartment while I was coming up the stairs. He is older. He paints. Every once in a while there is a new panting on our landing. I think that he and the person two floors down smoke weed. I smell it on my way out in the mornings. Everyone in my building is a complete mystery to me, and I one to them.

I love this.

I am here. In my apartment in the Krc section of Prague...just a bit outside of old town. It is so beautiful and peaceful, I might already be in love with it.
It's interesting to me how free and light I feel, as each plane rose with take-off, so did the weight I was feeling. Nothing describable...just a deep deep peace.
I also think I'm in love with subways...they are much more interesting than buses or trams.

I have spent this weekend training with Avant in Kansas City, Mo.; and tomorrow I fly out to finally get to Prague. I don't really know much about what I am doing, but I know that I am supposed to be there. I truly anticipate this being one of the hardest, most challenging experiences of my life, but it will be hard in a truly beautiful way.

I'll be keeping this updated more when I am actually there.

In a week, I am leaving to spend my summer in Prague. I will be working with Avant ministries helping them with video communications stuff.
Europe is where I want to be after college, and I can't believe I get to have a little taste of that.
If I'm going to be honest with myself, I must admit I'm a bit scared...I am going to be the only one who is not married with children...it will be the first time I have been away from some of my best friends for so long...with things that are going on in my life right now, I feel like I'm leaving right in the middle of unfinished things...
but all of this is to say that I'm ready. I will be alone in another country, I intend to use this as a good time of self-reflection and a time to be away from the distractions so I can get some answers.
I am scared and alone, but ready and at peace. And I know that this will be a beautiful adventure.

I'm growing older, at peace where I'm at.
I wish you could be here for that.

Oh how the mind jumps in the early hours...

It is 3 in the morning, I can't sleep.
I just got off the phone with my beautiful friend Daniel. We understand each other even though it seems like we shouldn't get the other one at all, I think that's why we are so good for each other.

I wonder what it is that made you give up on me?

Life is still good, don't think I am unstable...I am just a human who doesn't quite understand things.

I am missing some old friends more than ever right now, and I wonder what they are doing.
Life is beautiful, and this is a beautiful time for me. I am learning to exist fully on my own I suppose.

I want to create something...something big and meaningful...even if it only means something to me.

I intent to spend the month of May in fields and trees and homes of loved ones, seeing and creating and loving everything around me before I leave the country for the rest of the summer. I am going to Prague, a place I have never been, without anyone I know...and that excites me more than I can say.

You are beautiful