I have spent this weekend training with Avant in Kansas City, Mo.; and tomorrow I fly out to finally get to Prague. I don't really know much about what I am doing, but I know that I am supposed to be there. I truly anticipate this being one of the hardest, most challenging experiences of my life, but it will be hard in a truly beautiful way.

I'll be keeping this updated more when I am actually there.

In a week, I am leaving to spend my summer in Prague. I will be working with Avant ministries helping them with video communications stuff.
Europe is where I want to be after college, and I can't believe I get to have a little taste of that.
If I'm going to be honest with myself, I must admit I'm a bit scared...I am going to be the only one who is not married with children...it will be the first time I have been away from some of my best friends for so long...with things that are going on in my life right now, I feel like I'm leaving right in the middle of unfinished things...
but all of this is to say that I'm ready. I will be alone in another country, I intend to use this as a good time of self-reflection and a time to be away from the distractions so I can get some answers.
I am scared and alone, but ready and at peace. And I know that this will be a beautiful adventure.

I'm growing older, at peace where I'm at.
I wish you could be here for that.

Oh how the mind jumps in the early hours...

It is 3 in the morning, I can't sleep.
I just got off the phone with my beautiful friend Daniel. We understand each other even though it seems like we shouldn't get the other one at all, I think that's why we are so good for each other.

I wonder what it is that made you give up on me?

Life is still good, don't think I am unstable...I am just a human who doesn't quite understand things.

I am missing some old friends more than ever right now, and I wonder what they are doing.
Life is beautiful, and this is a beautiful time for me. I am learning to exist fully on my own I suppose.

I want to create something...something big and meaningful...even if it only means something to me.

I intent to spend the month of May in fields and trees and homes of loved ones, seeing and creating and loving everything around me before I leave the country for the rest of the summer. I am going to Prague, a place I have never been, without anyone I know...and that excites me more than I can say.

You are beautiful

I have four weeks until the end of the school year.
I have eight weeks until I embark on a fantastic adventure.
I can do this.

Life is good...life is so good.

I am free.
Free to love.
Free to be brave.
Free to speak how I feel.
Free to not speak at all.
Free to come and go as I please.


I am free.

Neverland

"To live would be an awfully big adventure."
Peter Pan, you silly boy, this isn't done in Neverland. Life an adventure when you're allowed to grow up.
It's an adventurous thought that, from here on out, every decision I make--not just about what I do, but about who I am and who I am going to be--will impact the existence I will have as a "grown up". This existence will be one of my own creating, no other human authority will dictate so much of what my life will be like.
I have so many options in front of me. Will it be Spain, Germany, Africa, or Siloam for the summer? Will you be a part of my life? Will I be a part of yours? What great strangers are going to come in and out of my life?

Life is an awfully big adventure, scary, but grand nonetheless.